June 10, 2015
Top Ten Surprising USATT News Items
Here are some new USATT issues you might not be aware of.
- Chinese table tennis has been outlawed.
- Jim Butler, who recently won the USA Nationals, North American Cup, and Meiklejohn Seniors, has been banned from table tennis to allow younger players to have a chance.
- Plastic is flammable, so we are switching to tin balls. (This is what happens when you mix hot metal balls with regular ones. Which side would you prefer to be on?)
- Only legal surface is speed-glued sandpaper.
- The modern TV audience doesn’t have the patience for 11-point games (not to mention those interminable 21-point games from before), so henceforth all matches will be best of one game to one point. (With the new scoring system, the U.S. Open will now be held on July 6 between 1:00 and 2:00 PM.)
- Because USATT is devoted to improving your table tennis games, they will be adding 100 rating points to all USATT members. Additional points are on sale at $1/point.
- Topspin is illegal.
- Players with long pips are required to wear a picture of a yellow ping-pong ball with six “long pips” sticking out from it.
- The U.S. Open and USA Nationals now have first place prize money of $1,000,000 (pending receipt of $1,000,000 sponsorship).
- My book, “The Spirit of Pong,” is now the official bible of USA Table Tennis. All members will be required to put their hands on it as they swear eternal allegiance to USATT. Table Tennis is God, and Andy “Shoes” Blue is his prophet.
Upcoming ITTF Coaching Courses in the U.S.
- Read more about June 10, 2015
- Log in or register to post comments





